should i be concerned

after coming to nyc, i’ve developed health problems with a list of symptoms.  after a few years of constant illness, i’ve come to the realization that my condition may be due to a panic disorder and that it was my psyche that is affecting me physically.  in order to avoid pain, i now spend most of my time at home in bed.  some kind of fermentation is taking place.

they say that harmony is achieved if one is able to balance both interdependent mental and physical processes (perhaps not necessarily in those words), and it is interesting to look at physical manifestations that arise due to conditions of the mind and vice versa; the individual in relationship to his/her environment.

i guess i should join a gym.  back in the day, i used to be semi-athletic, but now i’m physically in my 70s.  for example:
whenever i walk too much, a knee injury from who knows when starts me limping in manhattan
whenever i bend over to grab something off the floor, my back gives out
whenever i eat crunchy or overly hot/cold food, my teeth hurt (partially because of poor hygiene, but also because of unnecessary dental work from recent dentists)
whenever i have food, it’s a great day if i can digest due to three nasty cases of food poisoning that left my system only wanting mush made by the gerber baby corporation

i’m not depressed at all.  i’m an artist.


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